Her Decision
by somemightsay1995
Summary: One shot concerning Penny and what she might be feeling set after season five, what with her still being with Leonard. Un-beta'd.


**Her Decision**

_Author's note: I find it hard to think or write for Penny, she is an enigma as Leonard would say. This one shot takes place the summer after season five. _

Penny knew that Leonard really didn't mean to propose to her while in the middle of their love making, his timing was terrible. Their timing was never their strong suit, now she was thinking like Leonard. Be that as it may, it was still her decision to stay with him this time. Penny had decided that she wouldn't leave him. She wasn't going to dump him and start off a new chain of events of which she had no control over, hell she was spending to much time with Sheldon.

The last time she left him things hadn't worked out for either of them, especially her. Leonard changed from being her nerdy ex to some sort of nerd slut. That damn slut bunny, then Bernadette's friend, Priya even that old donor for Cal Tech. Then back to Priya on a more regular long term relationship. And that's just the ones Penny had heard about, every now and then Sheldon had to make his own way to work or Raj picked him up because Leonard, get this, wasn't around. Penny no longer had the right to pry into that side of Leonard's life she didn't want to come off as the nosy ex, which she totally was.

Penny didn't want a repeat of this to happen, she had underestimated the feelings that stirred in her because she hated seeing or even hearing Leonard with other girls. Damn, jealousy sucks. This time, even with things being awkward again, she was staying with him. In Leonard's own messed up way he really cared about her and Penny knew this. Sure they argued, spectacularly sometimes, but never of them wanted to be apart from each other. It was like Sheldon had said to her several times, that they argued like an old married couple.

This time Penny wasn't going to duck out of this mess. What they had, and continued to have meant too much. When Leonard professed his love she messed up, and it took a while to realise this. Penny was pissed that he had made things awkward and she was going to punish him for that. The following would be example's for instance, the silent treatment, withholding sex and generally pushing his buttons amongst other things. The only thing that was off the table for sure was making him jealous, she didn't like it so would not be using that particular trick if you can call it that.

The only draw back to those tricks was sex with Leonard was really great now and she missed it, with him especially. The silent treatment was no good as maybe this time they had to be open and honest with each other. Or perhaps she would have to be honest with herself about how she really felt about Leonard and then had to admit her feelings to him.

Her feelings toward Leonard, the fact it caused them to split up the first time around weren't going away. While she might not be ready for a full blown serious relationship that had a destination, marriage with kids, she sure as hell wasn't willing to have Leonard single again and available to any one to be with. God did this make her a bad person, that she was staying with him so that no one else would take him. Penny didn't think so, it wasn't a crime to be possessive of her man as this boy was hers. No she had real feelings for him, hell the entire time he was with Priya she hated it. Why, because deep down in a place she wasn't always comfortable with Leonard was hers and hers alone because she doesn't share her guy with any one. Especially when that guy makes you happy and loves you. The entire time of there relationship she still thought of him as hers and the sad truth was he wasn't.

When Leonard so to speak cut the cord with her, Penny realised Leonard wanted to be happy wanted to be loved and was willing to find that without her. For the next couple of months they stayed away from each other and it hurt. Penny felt this before but had forgotten the pain. The last time she felt this was when he left for the North Pole. For three months she missed Leonard like crazy and nearly went crazy with not telling him that she wanted him. Then finally when he returned Penny jumped him, all her pelt up frustration needed to be satisfied. And then some. And at the same time he gave her that snowflake, something so sweet she could never bring herself to put it away. It stayed on her draw regardless of what was happening between them.

For now it was her decision to stay with Leonard, her decision to make this work, her decision to maybe open up finally and tell Leonard how she felt about him.

For now it was her decision to give their relationship the commitment that Leonard gave it.

For now it was her decision to tell Leonard that she loved him once he earned it, that would be his punishment for making things awkward again.


End file.
